I have a fear of midgets that first manifested itself in childhood and has continued to the present day. This particular phobia (and it’s not the only one I suffer from as I have a disabling fear of spiders as well as being rather scared of heights) is known as achondroplasiaphobia, nanosophobia, and even lollypopguildophobia – yes, that is also what being afraid of the little people is known as.

Apparently, most phobias start with a bad encounter with the reason for one’s phobia. A person might have fallen from a shelf or even tree, and thus, his fear of heights. A spider may have bitten a little girl, so she becomes extremely paranoid of arachnids. However, I have never had a horrible encounter with dwarfs. I simply did not like their looks as a kid, and when we attended the local fair and I saw a midget operating a ride, I would avoid that ride like the plague.

My brother and I used to laugh at the midget wrestlers. We were certain that we could whip the ass of any midget man in the ring, but our grandmother assured us that these little people were ‘grown men’ and that we would not be able to lick em. I must admit that I am very grateful to the Fates for not giving my family any dwarfs because I know that I would avoid that person as if their lack of height was a dread disease, and that would be pretty much a terrible thing but hey, a phobia’s a phobia. You will never find me running out in search of spiders to take home and keep as pets, for example. I hate the creepy, crawly things and will go to my grave loathing them. That’s gospel.

Remember that ‘Short People’ song by Randy Newman? Kids I knew used to sing it to make fun of any adult we thought were midgets, even thought they actually weren’t. They simply were a bit shorter than average. It really does not poke fun of dwarfs as originally misunderstood but it surely can be used as a sort of comic relief if one is surrounded by a bunch of half-crazed Oompa Loompas on the warpath. And yep, you guessed it – I deeply despised those hideous orange-faced creatures. I liked Willy Wonka and his sarcastic ways, but those Oompa Loompas were another story entirely.

Dwarfs really do not appear normal. They have small, child-like bodies with the heads of adults, and very odd-looking heads at that…usually with protruding eyes, oversize foreheads, and small mouths. They are not comely people and I do not understand how any one in their right mind could find a midget even remotely sexually attractive. But it takes all kinds, and there are all types of fetishes.

All the Reality TV shows that depicts the everyday lives of dwarfs are repugnant to me. I would never, ever watch any of them because even the promotions for them are repelling. I just find the very thought of midgets having sex, even with other midgets, and bearing a child that will become a midget, so thoroughly disgusting. How can any normal-size person find anything about a dwarf sexy and a turn on? I don’t think I will ever get over my phobia of these humans so matter how hard I try.

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