I didn’t used to feel this way, but now I am so grateful to the Creatrix for a lot of things about my life and myself, and I thought I’d share them with you on this blog of mine. Before, I used to sit and wonder why –

  1. I was born into a poor family
  2. I had hair that could be called neither ‘good’ or ‘bad’, just nappy
  3. I had (to me anyway) horrible skin
  4. I was fat – because I really used to be 50 lbs heavier
  5. I was awful at math
  6. I had no very close friends
  7. I wasn’t popular in school
  8. I had to suffer with facial hair
  9. I had an ugly voice
  10. I didn’t come from an educated family

With all of those issues, it was no damn wonder I was miserable, depressed, suicidal and wishing I was either dead or someone, anyone, else! I envied sitcom families of all things, knowing that those shows were made up, but showing my jealousy just the same because my own life was so fucked up in those days…I would never, ever go back to the 80s or the 90s, even though I find the music from those decades far superior to anything that is called ‘music’ today.

A situation arose where I had to stay with my aunt for a couple of months back in 2003, and she unfortunately used to watch a lot of trashy TV talk shows. We were watching Maury Povich one day and this particular episode was about mismatched couples: fat person, skinny person…tall guy, short woman…a person with no legs…very old man with a very young girl, that sort of thing. When the legless person hopped out onto the stage, my aunt just shook her head and said, “Thank you, God.”

Until that moment, I had never truly felt that way. I was too wrapped up in myself, in selfish desires and egocentric wants and self-centered needs, that I could spare no pity or empathy for others. All that came into my mind were self-absorbed thoughts with hardly any feelings for anyone else. Ever since then, I have managed to leave behind most of my self-serving ways and even with my rampant misanthropy, I managed to at least feel some sort of compassion for those less fortunate than myself.

Now I am so grateful to the Goddess that I was not brought into this world –

  1. A midget
  2. A giant (because women that are too tall have a manly look and frankly, I would rather be petite than 6 feet plus)
  3. An albino
  4. Legless or physically handicapped in some other fashion
  5. Blind, deaf, mute or a combination thereof
  6. Extremely unattractive

  7. A hunchback
  8. Very dark-skinned
  9. Mentally retarded
  10. In a 3rd World Country

Thank you, My Lady, for letting me be who I am and not what I could have been!


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