Typical preening celebrity

Some of the most annoying people on TV these days are so-called celebrity chefs. They are so smug, arrogant, and condescending in their haughty beliefs that they are such fantastic cooks, everyone should bow down and worship at the Altar of Giada De Laurentiis (never trust a bony cook), or Geoffrey Zakarian, or Sunny Anderson. I cannot stand Scott Conant, Chris Santos, or Mark Murphy. Those 3 Stooges are my most hated celeb chefs, and Marcus Samuelsson isn’t too far behind them. I would not mind stepping into the ring with any of those assholes and bitch-slapping the utter conceit from their faces.

Bobby Flay and Aaron Sanchez are pretty much the only 2 male chefs out there that I can say that I like, just from watching them on TV. How a person is in reality can often be another truth entirely, however. Guy Fieri? Irritating. Rachel Ray? Holy chit, that slut gets on my last nerve! Anne Burrell? She’s cool. Jeff Mauro? I’d like to smack that guy, he really does need a nose job or something. Katie Lee’s cute but has an aura about her that shows she has a very high opinion of her college coed looks. Just because someone is attractive does not mean they can cook, damn it.

Do you ever watch Marcela Valladolid on Mexican Made Easy? That stuff looks like crap, almost as bad as the sloppy, gloppy waste that is served at most Mexican restaurants in America. She even makes enchiladas the Mexi-Merican way: rolled up in a tortilla and slathered in sauce & cheese.

Real Mexicans don’t roll the tortillas – I should know, my brother was married to a Mexican lady for more than 15 years! Her family chuckled at the way Americans like their Mexican food. Okay, so Marcela might sometimes make hers the authentic way but she usually goes the Mexi-Merican route.

Stacked enchiladas the way Mexicans usually make them

Honestly, I don’t see what’s so great about the Pioneer Woman. Ree Drummond is always throwing together processed foods – canned this, frozen that, boxed whatever – hardly anything she ever makes is totally homemade. That’s probably why she looks as old as she does, with that horrible dumpy middle-aged woman’s figure…her country bumpkin family doesn’t know any better because rednecks really do not know anything about fine cuisine. All they know is how to wrestle steers and eat fatty foods that will keep one’s cholesterol level sky high.

All those damned cooking competition shows are getting to be the final straw for me. I wish I could turn back time to the 1970s when fine entertainment was available on the ol’ boob tube…it would be a welcome change to see such great shows as Grizzly Adams, Little House on The Prairie, Sanford and Son, Good Times, MASH, and The Waltons, among others, over such drivel as Hell’s Kitchen with that nasty Gordon Ramsay, another jackass who thinks he’s the hot shit in any kitchen worldwide, or those cake shows featuring that fat bald Duffy Goldman, who thinks his baking is so divine. What do they do with all that wasted food? I’ll bet none of it goes to feed the homeless and hungry at shelters!

Wake up, egotists! If you’re so damned perfect, how come you aren’t making billions of dollars a year like the fast food industry? Oh true, you’re all millionaires with your shows and bad cookware and endorsements, but you will never be what McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, Domino’s or Subway are to the people of the world. And this is from someone who doesn’t even like fast food.

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