We women are taught several things as girls growing up in a sexist society – and yes,even Christian & Jewish culture is as male-dominated as Muslim culture – and one of those is that girls are to be nice. Remember the old poem ‘snips and snails and puppy dog’s tails’ as being what little boys are made of, whilst little girls are created from ‘sugar and spice and everything nice’?
My cousins and I used to sling that crap at my brother and his friends whenever we got pissed at them, which was often. Another saying my cousin liked to declare was: anything boys can do, girls can do better! She even had a t-shirt proclaiming this fact. Boys in school would say however, that girls ‘came from Jupiter to get more stupider’ while boys ‘came from bars to get more candy bars’.
The point is, girls are taught that we are to be nice little creatures. Boys are allowed to be hooligans out in the streets; it’s almost as if this is expected behavior of them. When girls show their tough side as kids, we are called out as ‘tomboys’; show your tough side as a woman, and you’re called a ‘bitch’.
Movies – especially those written by men – tend to use the word ‘bitch’ so often it becomes a sound your hearing probably doesn’t even process after a time. Horror movies are especially bad for this, not to mention over-use of the word ‘fuck’ but that’s a topic for a future post. When the female gets pissed at the male, she sometimes calls him an ‘asshole’. But the male, when angry at the female, always calls her a ‘bitch’. Bitch, in my opinion, is a far more hateful and hate-filled word than asshole. It reveals the screenwriter’s (as well as the director’s and producer’s) disdain for women when this word is used in movies pointlessly – and yes, I have watched countless films where another word could have been utilized instead.
Why must women keep silent and not show our bitchiness when things don’t please us? Why is it okay for men to be pricks and dickheads regularly when we aren’t allowed to be bitches at all? We women smile at complete strangers, apologize even when something isn’t our fault, and offer excuses even when it should be the other person doing the excusing. What the hell…? I stopped this feminine, passive, submissive behavior many years ago because I realized that being this way was not getting me anywhere in life other than putting me at risk of being taken advantage of. Because I appeared to be so nice all the time, I was used as a doormat by various so-called boyfriends and even coworkers.
I freed my inner bitch and am today a much changed woman. Before, I was too agreeable to even road rage – now I rant and rage and hurl insults left and right as I drive from Point A to Point B. I no longer agree to help someone if I don’t feel up to the task or I dislike the person. I just tell em NO. I no longer care what people I don’t know – and even those I do – think of me if I tell them I won’t do it, or if I share my opinion when asked (something I used to cringe at the thought of, back in my wimpy days). I realize that all those years I was a cowering little pussy set me back in more ways than one. If I had been a ball breaking bitch much earlier in life, I’d probably be a filmmaker on a par with the late Nora Ephron or Ava DuVernay by now.
Take my advice, ladies. Free your inner bitch and you will find yourself a much happier woman.