I have the most wishy-washy ignoramuses living next door, to the right as one enters our ugly abode. 2 years we have lived here, and all of a sudden the crackhead bitch wants to put up a sign like this:

I don’t know what this bitch’s problem is or who the hell she thinks she is, but she is not allowed to place signs on city property – which the telephone pole is – and we don’t allow our dogs into her precious yard…which she doesn’t even own, by the way. She can’t afford to buy anything because her sorry, lazy ass doesn’t work anywhere. She doesn’t even get a crazy check, she simply lives off of her retarded brother and her elderly mother. They rent the house, which is in as bad a shape as ours because the same landlord owned them for decades and he never fixed them up, now the current guy won’t either but he’s fixing up their house because the crackhead reported him to the city – as well as my fiance who had building materials on our porch and in the backyard. Now all the carpet we had is gone because this toothless old hag had to get her revenge on the landlord. What a fucking dumb Negro bitch but that’s a Black woman for you. When they can’t hurt the White man, they will definitely go after you because they are spiteful, nasty bitches who can’t get a man! 

If you have an asshole living next door to you, don’t go Fear Thy Neighbor on them just yet. Try one of the spells below and before you know it, those idiots next door will be gone for good, Halleluja!

Best time to cast this spell: sunset on the eve of a New Moon 

–A yellow candle a teaspoon of salt half a cup of Olive oil
–a chicken feather (you should gather feathers in a non-harmful manner)
The spell: gather up your ingredients and go to a quiet area in your home where you can be alone.
Light the candle and put the salt into the cup of Olive oil. Pick up the feather and repeat these words:
Cauda Draconis (or a deity you choose to work with)
Help me in my time of need
I want (the person’s name here) to move away from me,
In good health let them be their possessions – let them keep
Let wheels begin to help them to move away from me.
This is my will – So Mote It BE!
Dip the feather into the olive oil and soon as you are able – wipe the feather on the ground
in front of your house and near the neighbor’s house (make sure no one sees you!) 

Get rid of them with urine, used in many magical recipes as a cleansing agent. Clean them right out of there with:

  • 1 pint urine
  • 2 tablespoons salt
  • 3 black peppercorns
  • 3 teaspoons powdered garlic
  • silver filings (file a silver dime or old spoon)
  • 1 pint May water

Reduce this to one pint. On the night of the new moon, at midnight,sprinkle this on the neighbors front doorstep. They will move soon.

If anyone tries this on your and you know what they are up to, you can wash your own doorsteps morning and night, twice a week for several weeks.

We have some really irritating neighbors…don’t we all? Anyway, they have been hassling us a bit and just generally sending some negativity over the fence. So I wrote this spell and chanted it while I walked our property and scattered nettles along the edges:

“All evil thought, all evil done,
Go from here, be on the run.
The house is mine, both hill and glen,
And what is mine, I will defend.
Herbs of power, herbs of strength,
Aid me now, a fence of length.”

Pretty simple and, so far, pretty effective. I write my spells in rhyme because one; it’s “traditional” and two: it helps me remember them! And the less distracted you are by reading & remembering your place, the more focused you can be on sending your energy where you need it!

Find a green candle, one large enough to burn 30 minutes a day for at least a week. Make up a short chant something like this:

Bothersome neighbors go away,
find a much better place to stay.
A place where you will be happy,
I will be happy,
and all around you will be happy.
An affordable place, a nice place,
A much better place to stay
So long as it is far from me and mine.
Bothersome neighbors go away.

Each night light your candle (cast a circle first if you want one), imagining the flame as a spark in their mind which will lead them to a new home. Then sit down an stare into the flame for 5-10 minutes concentrating on your desire that they find a new, better place to live where they will be happy and annoy no one.

Then take up your pen and paper and draw while chanting your chant. Stick figure art is okay if that is the best you can do. The first night draw your neighbor’s (current) house with them doing the annoying types of things they do. Make it complete even if it’s simple art. Put in the trees, windows, and the like. When you are done, wait for the end of the 30 minutes, concentrating on the candle flame and your goal. Fold the paper up and tear it to small shreds. Put out your candle (and close your circle if you created one. Save the torn scraps of paper.

On each night for the rest of the week, repeat the ritual, but the art will change. On the second day, draw them excited and happy in front of their current house — because they’ve found a better one. For the rest of the week, draw them carrying various stuff out of their current house (as if they were moving). The key thing here is only show there current house. You don’t want to limit possibilities by drawing a new house for them.

After you’ve done this a week, put all of the scraps of paper and some of the tail end of the candle in an envelope and bury it or hide it on the property line between their place and yours. If you’ve used large sheets of paper, you only need to include a portion from each if you need to keep the envelope small.


(1) Take a black candle and incise the person’s name on it three times, starting from the bottom so that the name “goes away” from you. Dress the candle with water, sugar or honey. Burn for 30 minutes on each of three consecutive mornings.

(2) Take a small jar. Write your neighbor’s name nine times on a piece of paper and put this in the jar. Fill the jar with Four Thieves Vinegar and throw it into a river.

Another variation

Take some new salt and mix well with Four Thieves Vinegar Mix and set aside until mixture is dry. On nine different days throw some of the salt behind the “enemy” as he/she walks by. This is said to cause the party to leave the neighborhood.


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