I have never been into babies. When my younger cousins were born, I couldn’t understand the attraction they held for the adults in my life – particularly the women. A girl cousin who was 3 years younger than I certainly didn’t like the attention her baby sister garnered, from her mom as well as her aunts and grandmothers. I didn’t get my own baby sister until I was 13, and of course I pretty much ignored her until she got older. I can’t say I had fun with a toddler but by that time, we were going through some heavy duty troubles and I used to take her out of the apartment to get away from that crap. Then I got another baby sister when I was 18, which was far worse than getting one at a younger age because every where my mother, the baby, and I went, everyone took one look at her and thought she was my baby!

The older I got, the less interested in babies – and children – I became. I was teased a lot when I was a teenager, and ever since those awful years I’ve hated adolescents. I tried to pretend that I liked kids when I was around those who were crazy about them but what I really felt instead of adoration, admiration, and maternal longing was disgust, revulsion, and a decided lack of maternal intrigue. Even when I turned 30, 35, 40, and eventually 45, my biological clock never started ticking. When I dated guys who mentioned kids, I quickly ended the relationships. There was no way in hell I was going to carry that load in my belly for 9 months of misery while the sperm donor did as he pleased!

Children truly annoy me. I went to Chuck E. Cheese once with my aunt and her grandson and it was one of the most despicable experiences ever, other than the time I went with my brother and my nephew to Celebration Station and that horrid 2 weeks I spent as a child caregiver. I had to care for the babies – ugh! Babies aren’t cute, newborns especially. They’re wrinkled, red, ugly creatures that look like aliens. I don’t know which are worse, babies with their incessant crying, endless diaper changes, and constant need for attention, or older children with their tantrums, sassy ways, and irritating questions. They say the elderly are child-like but they’ve got nothing on actual children. Preschoolers are the worst of the bunch. Teenagers are another species entirely. One reason I’d never want to start life over is suffering through adolescence again .

Babies are demanding. So are kids – and don’t let me get started with ‘tweens’. You must spend loads of money on them, nurture them, care for them, take them places, do things with them, hold their hands, comfort them, register them for school, buy things for them, and try to be a better parent than your own were to you. I admire my younger siblings for doing this, being so selfless and all, but I do not envy them one bit. Family life, to me, is boredom times 1000, and I never wanted that future when I was growing up. In fact, I knew by the time I was 10 years old that I never, ever wanted to have a child – not even one, not even a little girl to play dress up with and to spoil. No kids. Never!

Having a child makes you a woman, some say. Oh really? I personally know of lots of women who had kids and they were crackheads, junkies, and alkies, some were even mentally ill/handicapped, and the children wound up being taken by the state because these irresponsible women – and the men who donated their sperm – couldn’t properly care for their own offspring. One woman – who carries the AIDS virus – had 6 or 7 children, and all were taken by the state because she was too ‘slow’ to care for them. I used to do volunteer work at the local Salvation Army and I saw how it was there. A bunch of losers with children one could only feel sorry for.

People with children love to point out that we who chose not to bring any more brats into the world are very selfish, thinking only of ourselves. This is hardly the case. There are just some people who don’t like kids, period. Why would anyone who doesn’t like babies and children want to have one in their lives 24/7? That would not be fair to the child nor the person. After all, many people have kids and abuse them – even kill them. What do you jealous hypocrites have to say about that?

True, I do enjoy the freedom I have that I wouldn’t if I had kids. If I’d a child or two, I would never have been able to visit Europe 4 times, I would probably be on state aid or at the very least struggling to make ends meet, and I would no doubt be halfway to full insanity by now. Children simply are not for everyone. With my issues – depression, ptsd, and anxiety – being saddled with a child would have been the worst thing ever for me.


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