Sometimes I hate men. I have always felt that way, even as a child…before I ever started dating and realized what absolute total shits the male gender happens to be. I can understand why there are men who are so sexually confused, they wish to be women. Who’d want to be a hard, hairy, and smelly creature with that thing between the thighs which defines their sense of maleness?
I loathe males more now than I ever have, mostly because of my so-called fiance; I have despised this guy for more than a year and it gets worse every day. I find him a toad, homely and ignorant and so low class that I often wonder what the hell I am doing with such a critter. He is a foul mouthed, chain smoking, canine crazed redneck who looks as if he’d fit right in with the criminals one sees on such shows as Southern Justice or the druggies on Intervention.
Why am I associated with this loser? Am I truly so desperate that I would need to degrade myself to be with a creep of this magnitude? Is it because he pays half the bills? Did I fall in love with his stinky beloved pitbull that barks at every noise and eats like a body builder in training?
It can’t be because I love the guy because that ceased last year. I did love him at one point so that when we broke up, it hurt….even though he was already on Methadone (treatment for his pain pill addiction). If I knew then what I do now, I would never have gotten back together with him. Never. We all make mistakes and I have made some whoppers in my time but never one as big as this!
He’s always making sexist remarks, or racist comments, or slurs against Muslims (whom he seems to think are worse than gays, the typical White Christian Male attitude these days), and to top it all off, he constantly compares dogs with cats – standard masculine behavior since most males hold the belief that only queers prefer felines, along with women and witches and other weird people.
I know that his views are the sign of a weak person with a mind that is less intelligent than most, but that doesn’t mean I should laugh at his marijuana-addled witticisms, his bizarre palilalia, and his utter devotion to his mother. Theirs is a strange relationship, let me tell you – she still gives him money, an adult male in his 40s with a job that pays every week – if he goes a day without talking to her, it kills him. He has to see her every week, often twice in seven days, even though she apparently abandoned him as a child (he was mostly raised by his great-grandmother, whom he called nanny as he does not have much to do with his actual grandmother due to the way she treated his mother). I was always warned about Momma’s Boys but WOW! this takes the damn cake.
Maybe there is hope for me. Maybe my feelings towards the masculine sex can be turned into at least liking if not loving…though I kind of doubt it. I think my misandry goes a lot deeper than the shit my current boyfriend has put me through. I think it is the culmination of all the failed relationships of my life, including the one that never was with the man who gladly donated sperm to my mother, the result of which was my conception…and the woman bashers of those three patriarchal religions I have such a difficult time with, the rampant sexism in the media and society, the belittling of the female, the serial killers that prey on us, the global misogyny that keeps women and girls oppressed…
Actually I think being a misandrist suits me.